After I identified the things that I had been believing as true in my life (read more here), it was time for me to evaluate whether or not these were actual truths or just lies I had been believing as true.
I took the time to write them all down and lay them out in a notebook and then one by one I started to hold them up to the truth that is found in the Word of God.
I thought I would share a few to give you an example of what this process practically looked like.
Before I do that though, I want to give a quick disclaimer. This is not an easy process. This actually was really difficult because I was exposing my foundational truths and when a foundation is found to be cracked, the whole structure can collapse. SO I want to be sure to share that I did this in the context of a christian counselor and a group of close friends who I could be truly honest with. I also was daily in the word of God at this time and I invited the Holy Spirit to lead me as well. This is not a process to be done alone. But in the right context, it is a beautiful journey.
Here are a few examples of truths that I had identified as foundational thoughts that I was believing as truth.
- In order to be a good christian girl, I am not allowed to have questions about God or doubt my faith. I have to always just believe.
- I have to always be strong. That weakness is vulnerability and God has called me to be strong to show that He is strong.
It wasn’t until I had written them down and been honest about the fact that I believed them to be true, that I could start to identify the lies that were hidden inside.
I will start breaking down each one individually.
First, I believed that in order to be a good christian girl, I wasn’t allowed to doubt or have questions about God. I thought that God honored blind faith.
As I broke this down and went even further, I realized that the root of this was that I believed that I could do something to earn God’s love, and I believed that I could lose His love. That if I doubted or had questions that I would lose the love that was so freely given.
Before this, I would have told you that I did not believe this! I know that is not true. BUT when I was honest with myself, I realized that I was acting and deep down believing that it was.
GUYS, this is SO REAL and a BIG DEAL. I will have more posts soon on what I have learned now that I have rewritten a new truth in my heart. The truth that I am freely and fully loved. The truth that I am allowed to have questions, in fact much of this life is full of doubts and questions. The key is that once again, at the end of the day, my foundation is that I am fully known and fully loved, just as I am. And that I can do nothing to earn it and absolutely nothing to lose it.
The second thing I was believing was that I had to be strong. I don’t know exactly where in my life I started to believe this but man was it deep in there. I believed that I had to be confident in all circumstances and have the right answers for every situation. I thought that if I could do this, I could prove that God had given me this strength and I could represent Him well.
Oh how wrong I was. When I finally identified this, I realized just how much this had affected my life. I realized that by trying to always be self-sufficient, I was robbing God of glory that He deserved from my life. He says that in our weakness there He can prove Himself strong not in my projecting a pretend strength.
Ugh. This one humbled me to my core. I didn’t want to admit that I was weak. I didn’t want to show anyone that I don’t really know what I’m doing or have all the right answers. I like being strong. I liked having it all together. I liked compensating for my very obvious physical weakness with having the rest of my life in control. But that is not what God has called me to do. This is not the example that Jesus shows us throughout His life on this earth. I knew that if I was going to change, I had to re-center my life around the truth that is found in the life of Christ.
Christ showed me an example of someone that was fully dependent on His Father. He was always asking the Father for answers or help or direction for His next step.
That is where I had gone wrong. I had lost the dependence. I was acting like a rebellious teenager instead of a milk dependent infant. And for the place that I was in life, I needed to learn to be more like an infant in order to learn how to let God shine in my strength (more on this in posts to come).
It all boiled down to the fact that I was ashamed of my own need of grace. This realization lead to a small detour in my journey that I will elaborate more on in my next post.
I don’t have enough space to share more about the other lies that I uncovered but if you would like to know more- please email me: firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to share more with you!
Thanks be to God who heard my cries and walked through every step of this process with me. To His Name ALONE by the Glory!